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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26916484">Freshly Baked</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peregrine/pseuds/Peregrine'>Peregrine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Drug Use, Drug Use, Gen, Marijuana, Mild Sexual Content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:00:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26916484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peregrine/pseuds/Peregrine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you familiar with the medicinal properties of cannabis?"</p><p>Annettes face went completely pale. "Mercie, is that what you put in those cookies?"</p><p>"It is."</p><p>"Oh no…" Annette pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Mercie, I just gave out the rest of those cookies."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Freshly Baked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a 100% self-indulgent character study I wanted to do with my favorites after seeing that hemp was a thing in the game. Special thanks to Noli, Willow, and Tank for proofreading encouraging my madness. Especially Willow, who came up with the fic title.</p><p>Though I didn't tag this for any ships, there are definitely ones that are hinted at.</p><p>12/1/2020 Update:<br/>I went back and fixed some of the issues with this fic, added more jokes, and updated it with more knowledge about cannabis since I actually know more about it than I used to! Fun fact: I named Almyrian Gold after a real-life strain of cannabis. Props to anybody who can guess what it is!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If Mercedes had known how desperately wrong her day was about to go, she might have returned to her room and hidden under her desk until morning. Unfortunately for her, her many abilities did not include foresight.</p><p>It was well into the day that she received the first inkling that something had gone wrong. Late afternoon had descended upon the monastery and she could feel the first chills of autumn in the air. Sunlight streamed down through the trees and alighted the walls of the monastery in an orange glow. She’d just finished up at the cathedral and was heading back to her room when Annette came running down the path towards her.</p><p>"Mercedes!” Annette called out, waving her hands in the air.</p><p>Mercedes waved back and Annette closed the distance between them, giving her friend a hug.</p><p>“I got the cookies you baked for me,” Annette said as soon as she pulled away. “They’re very good. Though they did have a little bit of a strange taste." </p><p>A feeling of warmth bubbled in her chest at her friend’s words. She let out a soft, nervous chuckle. "I'm glad to hear that.” She paused for a brief moment. “To be honest, I wasn't sure you were even going to eat them." </p><p>"Why wouldn't I? I love your sweets."</p><p>"I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear that," Mercedes said. "It’s just that...I wasn't sure you would be into eating the...well...these cookies, given their purpose."</p><p>"Their purpose?" Annette said. "What do you mean by that?"</p><p>Mercedes blinked. "You read the note in the tin, right?"</p><p>"Note???" Annette said, giving her friend a look of mild concern. "I didn't see a note in the tin."</p><p>"But, I put it in there...I think…”</p><p>"Hmm. Well, what purpose were they supposed to serve? Did you put something in them???"</p><p>Mercedes nodded.</p><p>"What exactly did you put in them?" The way Annette was looking at her gave Mercedes pause. It was like there was a nervous energy dancing in her eyes. </p><p>"Are you familiar with the medicinal properties of cannabis?"</p><p>Annettes face went completely pale. "Mercie, is that what you put in those cookies?"</p><p>"It is."</p><p>"Oh no…" Annette pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Mercie, I just gave out the rest of those cookies."</p><p>"Oh…"</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Professor!" Annette shouted across the courtyard as soon as she saw her. Byleth came to a stop as the two girls ran over.</p><p>Seven months into their year as pupils of the academy and many of the students had grown accustomed to their new professor. Both girls felt comfortable enough to approach her with their issue. In fact, given their similarities in age, she was probably the only professor they felt comfortable talking about this to.</p><p>"Is there something I can help you with?" She asked. </p><p>"We have a problem," Mercedes said, swallowing some of the nervousness that had been building in the back of her throat.</p><p>"We could really use your help," Annette added, fidgeting with the buttons on her blouse.</p><p>Byleth noticed the concern in their expressions and her normally emotionless composure fell a little, her lips curving into a hint of a frown. "What can I do?" she asked, her voice surprisingly gentle.</p><p>"I accidentally drugged the other students!" Annette choked out, looking absolutely distraught.</p><p>Mercedes put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. "You're not the only one who messed up."</p><p>"Drugged?" Byleth asked, her forehead knotting up.</p><p>Annette pressed her face into her hands. "This is all my fault."</p><p>Mercedes rubbed her shoulder, looking to their professor. "I made some cookies with cannabis in them. I thought it would help Annette calm down but I failed to communicate what was in them and she handed them out to the other students!"</p><p>"Where exactly did you obtain cannabis?" Byleth asked, putting words to the first question that came to mind.</p><p>“Well, um...” Mercie said, looking strangely sheepish for a girl whose composure was normally so calm.</p><p>“Mercedes,” Byleth said in that firm sort of tone a disappointed parent would use with their child.</p><p>“Mercie???” Annetta said, giving her friend a quizzical look.</p><p>"Claude got it for me," Mercie admitted, bowing her head just a little. "I asked him if he knew about anything I could bake into the cookies to help Annette relax and he said he could provide me with something and…" Mercedes took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry, Professor."</p><p>"I should have known it was him." Byleth's stone-faced expression returned. Claude was always obtaining weird ingredients he could use for his stomach poisons. It was no surprise that he'd be able to get cannabis for such a purpose.</p><p>Mercedes opened her mouth for a moment, then closed it, swallowing again before she spoke. "What would you suggest we do?"</p><p>"What students did you hand the cookies out to?"</p><p>"I'm not sure,” Annette admitted, bringing a finger to her chin. “There were a lot of people hanging out around the classrooms so I just passed them out to whoever was around.”</p><p>"How many cookies were there?"</p><p>"I'm not entirely sure," Annette admitted, licking her lips nervously.</p><p>"There were twelve cookies in the tin," Mercedes said.</p><p>"I passed out all but two of them,” Annette added. “One I ate and the other is still sitting in the tin."</p><p>An audible sigh escaped from between the professor's lips.</p><p>"Any idea what we should do?" Annette asked, looking at their professor with large eyes. Her face was just a bit red and Byleth suddenly realized she was trying to hold back tears.</p><p>Without warning, a voice spoke from within her.</p><p>"<em>This is going to be a lot of trouble. </em>"</p><p>Sothis sometimes chose odd times to pop into her head. Yet she knew Sothis was right. This wasn't going to be easy to deal with. She sighed and rubbed her head. She wanted to ask Sothis if she had any ideas but Mercedes and Annette were still standing in front of her.</p><p>"<em>You'll probably want all the students in one place,</em>" Sothis said as if she could read her mind. Of course, she could read her mind.</p><p>Byleth refocused her attention on the students in front of her. "I think I have a plan. Do you remember exactly who you passed those cookies out to?"</p><p>Annette gave a tentative nod. “I think I could probably find them.”</p><p>"Please track down those students and inform them that they are needed in the library immediately."</p><p>"We'll find them as quickly as we can," Mercedes said, looking a tad bit relieved.</p><p>"Oh, and find Claude too."</p><p>Annette let out a nervous giggle. "I'm pretty sure I gave one of the cookies to him."</p><p>Byleth sighed. "Let's hope he's sober."</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Claude and Annette were the first students to enter the library. Upon seeing his professor, Claude raised his hand in greeting. </p><p>"Hey, Teach! I heard what happened."</p><p>"We talked to Manuela about the situation," Annette said. "She's drunk but she's coming in case any students need medical attention."</p><p>"How concerned should we be?" Byleth asked. </p><p>“There was an empty wine bottle on the floor,” Claude said. “Though I am not sure if it's from this binger or the last one she had after Felix nearly chopped off his finger in the kitchen. The wine glass on the table was-”</p><p>“No, Claude. Not Manuela,” Byleth said pressing a palm to her face. “Are any students going to die?”</p><p>Claude burst into a fit of laughter and Byleth had to wait for him to calm down before he could speak. "No. I mean someone might pass out. But nobody dies from having too much weed."</p><p>"That's a relief," Byleth said. She turned to Annette. "Any idea where Mercedes is?"</p><p>Annette shrugged. "She was still looking for students maybe??? Most of them should already be on their way."</p><p>Just as she finished speaking, the door to the library opened and in walked Caspar and Linhardt. "Professor!" Caspar said, waving his hand. "I heard we're doing some remedial lessons? What are we working on today?"</p><p>"Remedial lessons? What a pain." Linhardt yawned. "Do we really have to be here, Professor?"</p><p>"Remedial lessons?" Byleth said. She turned to Annette and lowered her voice. "Is that what you told them?"</p><p>Annette pressed the tips of her fingers together, looking sheepish. "Um...well, I did kind of tell them that we're gathering for a last-minute lecture. I didn't want to alarm anyone."</p><p>Byleth let out an audible sigh but said nothing. They would all find out the truth soon enough.</p><p>Other students began to stream in. Ashe entered the room, smiling and waving to the professor as he took a seat. He was followed by Dorothea, who immediately went to Claude's side and began to chat. Lorenz, Ignatz, and Leonie came after, all of them walking together. Byleth noted with a feeling of trepidation that Ignatz was leaning on Leonie as he walked, his footsteps unsteady.</p><p><em>‘Shit, </em>’ Byleth thought.</p><p>"<em>Ah, yes, that weird kid</em>," came Sothis' voice in her head. "<em>This should be interesting </em>."</p><p>“Weird kid??? Sothis, he's <em>sick</em>!”</p><p>“<em>You're right,</em>” Sothis said. “<em>That Bernie kid is much weirder. What is she doing in her room all day?</em>”</p><p>“You're missing the point,” Byleth hissed. She had more to say to Sothis but she was interrupted by Leonie.</p><p>"Professor, Ignatz is sick!"</p><p>Byleth turned to her and watched as she helped Ignatz into a nearby seat.</p><p>"We should have taken him to the infirmary,” Lorenz said, brushing a hand through his own hair.</p><p>"And let Manuela treat him? Did you see her today? She's a total mess and her breath reeks of alcohol." Leonie said this as if she had something distasteful in her mouth that she was trying to spit out.</p><p>"Manuela is actually on her way," Byleth said, approaching them.</p><p>“On the way? But how could she know that Ignatz is sick?” Leonie asked, eyeing her carefully.</p><p>“I’ll tell you when the other students arrive.”</p><p>Leonie groaned. “Will she even make it here?”</p><p>"I hope."</p><p>The door creaked open again and Dedue entered the library with Mercedes in tow. Relief flooded Byleth at the sight of her. Mercedes quickly broke away from Dedue and went over to Byleth.</p><p>"Is this everyone?" Byleth asked.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Mercedes said, looking at Annette.</p><p>Annette looked around the room. “Uh...maybe?"</p><p>“Oh dear,” Mercedes said, concern clouding her features. "I know there is one person we're having trouble finding..."</p><p>Pain began to take hold in the back of Byleth's head. It was a faint pain but she knew the signs of an oncoming headache. "Who?"</p><p>"Bernadetta."</p><p>Byleth took a moment to think about the problem. "Do you think you could go find Edelgard? She might know where to look."</p><p>"Of course,” Mercedes said.</p><p>"I'll go with her," Claude offered.</p><p>Byleth pursed her lips. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"</p><p>"You don't need to worry about me, Teach." He winked. "This is not my first time getting high, nor will it be my last. Though I do have a relatively <em>high </em>tolerance if you know what I mean."</p><p>Byleth sighed. She had her doubts about letting Claude leave the room. But she didn't want Mercedes to go alone. "You can accompany Mercedes. Just be careful. I don't need you getting into any more trouble."</p><p>Claude chuckled. "As inconvenient as this situation is, it feels nice to know that you're worried for me, Teach."</p><p>Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing Edelgard and Hubert as they stood in the entranceway. Everyone's heads turned as the two of them strode into the room.</p><p>"Speak of the devil," Claude said under his breath.</p><p>The Adrestian heir directed her attention straight at Byleth. "I have to say, Professor. I'm hurt that you would hold remedial lessons and invite Hubert but not me."</p><p>Byleth pursed her lips, unsure what to say. For a moment, Edelgard studied her, looking at her as if she were appraising a fine piece of jewelry or an expensive brooch. Finally, she drew her gaze away, looking to Hubert. "Let's take a seat."</p><p>Claude spoke as soon as she was out of earshot. "That was intense."</p><p>Byleth took a breath that she didn't know she had been holding. "Do you want to ask her or...?"</p><p>"I'll give that a pass," Claude said. He turned to Mercedes. "Let's go see if we can find Bernie on our own."</p><p>Once the two of them were out of the room, Byleth turned her attention back to the assembled students. She cleared her throat and all the students turned to look at her. She still wasn't sure that everybody was there. But the longer she made them wait, the more curious they would be.</p><p>"So, let's move the tables out of the way," Byleth finally said. "We're going to be sitting on the floor and forming a circle."</p><p>For an uncomfortably long time, nobody said anything or got up to move. They sort of just stared at her.</p><p>Edelgard was the first to break the silence. "Let's get moving."</p><p>This seemed to spurn all the other students into action, each getting out of their seats to start moving the furniture towards the shelves. Byleth made a mental note to herself to thank Edelgard in some manner before leaving the head of the room to go to Ignatz' side.</p><p>"Seriously, Professor, what's going on?” Leonie demanded as soon as Byleth was close enough to keep the conversation hushed.</p><p>"I'll explain shortly," Byleth said. Ignatz was still sitting in his chair, hunched over the table Leonie had set him up at.</p><p> "How are you doing?" Byleth asked.</p><p>"I...I think I'm going to throw up." </p><p>Lorenz took a big step away from Ignatz. "Professor, do something!"</p><p>Byleth took a quick look around the room and spotted a vase. Grabbing it, she brought it back to Ignatz. "If you need to throw up, you can use this." </p><p>"Thank you, pro-profess…" Ignatz stopped mid-word and began to retch.</p><p>Byleth wrapped an arm around his shoulder and helped him to the floor while Leonie grabbed the vase and brought it to him. As soon as his knees hit the ground, he leaned over and threw up into the vase.</p><p>Annette saw what was happening and came over, kneeling down next to him."Oh, no. I'm sorry, Ignatz.” She reached over and started rubbing his back.</p><p>Leonie shook her head. "I'm going to find Manuela. Now."</p><p>Byleth wondered if she should stop her but Leonie was out the door before she could say a thing.</p><p>She turned her attention back to Ignatz. "I want you to lay down on the floor and turn over onto your side."</p><p>"I'm sorry to be such an inconvenience," Ignatz said, his glasses askew on his face as he lifted his head to look at her.</p><p>"Ignatz, this isn't your fault," Annette said. She looked to Byleth for a moment, guilt clear on her face.</p><p>"Manuela should be here soon," Byleth said, hoping to the goddess she was correct.</p><p>In the back of Byleth’s head, Sothis laughed. “<em> I hope so too </em>.” </p><p>If Byleth were alone, she might have told Sothis off. But with Ignatz right in front of her, doing so wasn’t an option.</p><p>"Th-thanks," Ignatz stuttered. He practically collapsed onto the floor and rolled onto his side, his lenses haphazardly clinging to his face as he gazed at Byleth. "I think I might have food poisoning.”</p><p>Byleth felt a hand coming to a rest on her shoulder. Turning around, she came face to face with Dedue.</p><p>"Professor, we've finished moving everything," the large, soft-spoken man informed her. His gaze wandered over to Ignatz. "Is he going to be okay?"</p><p>"Yes," Byleth said. "He just needs a little space." As Byleth rose and turned to her other students, she saw that they were all sitting around on the floor in a sloppy circle.</p><p>"You stay here with him too, please," Byleth said, looking at Lorenz.</p><p>Lorenz looked like she'd just asked him to clean the stables. "What would you have me do???"</p><p>"Just keep an eye on him and help him if he needs anything."</p><p>Lorenz brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face. "I suppose it is a noble's duty to look after the common folk," he said, though he still looked uncertain.</p><p>Byleth left Ignatz’ side and moved toward the circle. The students scooted aside to make room and she sat herself down between Caspar and Ashe.</p><p>She got right to the point. "How many of you ate a cookie that was given to you by Annette?"</p><p>Caspar raised his hand right away and Linhardt followed. Slowly, other students did the same. Ashe's hand came up, then Dorothea's and Dedue's. Ignatz, who was still on the ground, shakily raised his.</p><p>Byleth looked over her students. There were too few hands up given how many cookies Annette had handed out. "I know there's more of you," Byleth said, putting on the sternest face she could.</p><p>Lorenz sighed and raised a hand. "Okay, I did. Why does it matter?"</p><p>Byleth turned to Annette. "Anyone I missed out on?"</p><p>Annette was silent for a moment. "I...I think so," Annette said, pinching her brow. "I'm having a hard time remembering things right now." She looked around the room at all the students assembled. "Who are we missing again???"</p><p>"I was asking you that," Byleth said.</p><p>"Oh. Sorry."</p><p>Byleth rubbed her brow and turned her attention back to the group. "If your hand is not raised, you may leave. The rest of you stay here. The cookies had cannabis baked into them."</p><p>All the students looked around the circle at each other.</p><p>"I don't understand," Edelgard said, shaking her head. "What do you mean, Professor?"</p><p>"Do you know what cannabis is?" Byleth said. </p><p>"I know what cannabis is. It's just…" Edelgard frowned. "You can't be serious, can you?"</p><p>"When have you ever known the professor not to be serious?" Linhardt said, cutting into the conversation.</p><p>"So there are no remedial lessons then." Byleth couldn't help but notice the hurt in her eyes. She got up from her position on the floor and rose to her feet. "If that's the case, I suppose I have no reason to stay here." She turned to the door. "Let's go, Hubert."</p><p>"Lady Edelgard," Hubert said, staying seated. He looked considerably paler than he usually was, which was a feat in itself given how pale he was in the first place.</p><p>"Hubert?" Edelgard said, raising her eyebrows and blinking.</p><p> "I had one of those cookies."</p><p>Edelgard groaned and pressed her palm to her face.</p><p>"Uh, Professor?" Caspar said. Byleth turned her attention to him. "I do not know what cannabis is,” Caspar admitted, rubbing his arm.</p><p>Byleth fell silent, unsure of how to answer. Thankfully, Dedue spoke up.</p><p>“<em>Cannabis Savita</em>. A plant of many uses,” Deude said. “Certain parts of the plant are known to have psychoactive properties.”</p><p>Caspar scrunched up his face. "I don't know what that means but…" He twisted his body around to look at Ignatz. "Are we going to throw up?"</p><p>Byleth sighed. "I hope not."</p><p>Dorothea let out a soft laugh. "It means you're about to get very light-headed and giddy, Caspar." She stretched her arms and stood up. "If that's all you're here to tell us, Professor, I'd like to get going. I have a date tonight and I don't want to keep him waiting."</p><p>"Dorothea, did you listen to what the professor just said?" Lorenz cut in. "Now is hardly the time to go gallivanting around with a suitor."</p><p>"I'll be fine," Dorothea said, waving her hand dismissively. "This is far from the first time I've gone on a date while high."</p><p>"Dorothea," Byleth said, standing up to face her. "You're my responsibility tonight and I cannot let you leave this room."</p><p>"What? For real?" </p><p>Byleth crossed her arms over her chest. "For real. If anything bad happens to you, it will be on my shoulders."</p><p>Dorothea groaned. "What am I going to tell my date?"</p><p>"You'll have time to figure that out before you see him tomorrow."</p><p>"What??? You mean I can't even go and tell him?"</p><p>Byleth paused to think for a moment. "Sorry," she said, looking as apologetic as she could muster.</p><p>Dorothea didn't look happy but she sat back down. With that matter settled, Byleth looked around at the rest of her students. "Does anyone else have questions?"</p><p>Ashe raised his hand slowly. "I have a question, Professor."</p><p>"Yes, Ashe?"</p><p>"Can I take a trip to the latrine?"</p><p>Byleth looked around at the assembled students, then to Edelgard. "Will you look after everyone if I accompany Ashe?"</p><p>"I guess I have no choice," Edelgard said.</p><p>"I'd appreciate it." Byleth rose from the floor and looked to Ashe. "Ready?"</p><p> Ashe scrambled to his feet. "Of course."</p><p>The nearest facility wasn’t too far from the library. Ashe was silent as the two of them walked down the hallway. They soon came to a stop in front of the bathroom door.</p><p>“I’ll be quick, Professor,” Ashe promised before disappearing behind the door.</p><p>Byleth waited patiently outside the bathroom, watching a nearby clock as the seconds ticked down. Five minutes passed and Byleth started to wonder if Ashe was having issues. Ten and she began to worry."</p><p>"Ashe, is everything okay?" Byleth said, knocking on the door.</p><p>She heard a crashing noise from within. Without a moment's hesitation, she pulled the door open and stepped inside.</p><p>"P-professor!" Ashe blurted out. Byleth froze. He was standing in front of the latrine, his face going red from his neck all the way to his ears, his hands fumbling with his partly unbuttoned pants. Not far from him was the shattered remains of a wall mirror.</p><p>Byleth fled the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Her hand gripped the doorknob as if she were holding back some sort of evil.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry, Professor!" she heard from behind the door.</p><p>"No, I'm sorry," she managed to choke out. She was mentally scolding herself. Out of all the awkward blunders she had ever made as a teacher, this had to be the worst.</p><p>Inside her mind, Sothis laughed. "<em>That was pretty careless of you, Professor</em>."</p><p>"Shut up," Byleth hissed through her teeth.</p><p>Ashe’s voice cut into her thoughts. "I didn't mean to break anything. I'm just...um...I'm feeling dizzy. It's like something just came over me, I'm...I'm having a hard time focusing on...on things."</p><p>Byleth couldn't help but sympathize with him. "It's okay, Ashe. Just finish up in there."</p><p>Ashe came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, his gaze fixed on his feet.</p><p>“I can help you clean up,” he said, his voice soft.</p><p>Byleth shook her head. "You should go back. I'll clean this up." </p><p>"Alright, Professor. I'll see you back in the classroom." Ashe turned away, still unable to look her in the eyes.</p><p>It took Byleth far too long to find a broom and dustpan to sweep up all the glass. When she was finally finished cleaning the mess up, she turned to throw the shards in the trash and froze. Behind her, staring at her from the hallway, was Hubert. He was looking at her as if he was contemplating getting rid of her. Not that he'd exactly been subtle about that particular desire of his.</p><p>"Um, Hubert? How long have you been standing there?"</p><p>Hubert scratched his left arm. "Lady Edelgard requests your immediate presence."</p><p>Byleth put the broom down. Did something happen? She opened her mouth to ask but closed it again, deciding that she'd better just go see for herself. She took off and got nearly halfway down the hall before she realized that Hubert wasn't following her. He was still staring into the bathroom.</p><p>"Let's go, Hubert."</p><p>Hubert seemingly snapped out of his daze. "Right," he said, following quickly in her footsteps. Byleth would have to scold Edelgard later for allowing him to leave the room.</p><p>It took less than a minute for Byleth to return. As she passed through the double doors, the scene that greeted her was different from how she'd left it.</p><p>"You're back, Professor," Edelgard said, holding a giggling Dorothea at arm's length. There was a pleading desperation in her eyes as she looked at Byleth, a silent scream for help. </p><p>"Please, Edie," Dorothea begged, giving Edelgard the saddest look she could muster. "Let me braid your hair just this one time. I promise you won't regret it."</p><p>Though his reaction was a bit delayed, Hubert crossed the room, his hands sparking with dark magic. </p><p>"Okay, that's enough, Dorothea," Byleth said, stepping forward and putting a hand on Hubert's shoulder. Hubert stopped in his tracks, his hand twitching. He didn't even turn to look at Byleth.</p><p>Dorothea evidently saw the danger and backed away, putting some distance between herself and Edelgard. "Sorry to get between you and <em>Your Highness</em>," she said, dragging out the last two words.</p><p>If looks could have killed, the one Hubert gave her would have stopped her heart. But before the two could say anything further, Linhardt spoke up.</p><p>"Ugh...I can't sleep like this."</p><p>He sat on the floor, his legs pulled to his chest and his head resting on his knees. Behind him was Annette, her hands tugging gently at his ponytail as she worked on a half-finished braid.</p><p>Linhardt lifted his head from his knees and Annette scooted away from him, stifling a giggle as she looked at her work.</p><p>"Seriously," Linhardt paused for a moment. "Could you all be...not be so loud. I can't nap when you're...uh…" he trailed off. There was a brief moment where he seemed to have dozed off. Then he lifted his head again and yawned, causing Annette, who had been closing in on him again, to leap back. "I'm kind of hungry."</p><p>Byleth wanted to respond but before she could get a word out, she spotted a flash of blue hair behind Linhardt. Then there was a shout and Caspar jumped onto the two of them.</p><p>Annette shrieked and wriggled out from under him but Linhardt wasn’t so lucky. Caspar burst into a fit of laughter as he knocked his friend to the floor. </p><p>“Ugh, Caspar,” Linhard said, letting out a noise of discomfort as he found himself trapped under his smaller companion's weight. For a minute or so, the two of them simply sat in this position. Then he put a hand on Caspar and attempted to push him off. Caspar would not budge.</p><p>"You're such a...a...a pain," Linhardt said, fumbling awkwardly with his words. When it became apparent that Caspar still wasn't moving, he sighed and closed his eyes, seemingly accepting his fate.</p><p>"Caspar," Byleth said. "Give Linhardt some space."</p><p>Caspar's eyes lit up. He rolled off of Linhardt and looked up to Byleth. "Hey, Professor! Guess what?"</p><p>"Hmm?" </p><p>"One time I sat on the end of the dock with my feet in the pond and the fish came up and nibbled on my toes!" Suddenly, his eyes lit up. "Oh, we should go swimming in the pond!"</p><p>The idea of an inebriated Caspar jumping into the somewhat shallow water filled her with a sense of dread. </p><p>“No,” Linhardt said before Byleth could object. He hadn’t moved an inch from where Caspar had knocked him onto the floor.</p><p>Caspar frowned. "Why not?"</p><p>She heard a huff and turned to the source. Edelgard was glowering at him, her arms crossed over her chest. “I forbid you from swimming in the pond, Caspar.”</p><p>Caspar raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want to swim?” </p><p>“No,” both Lindhardt and Edelgard said near simultaneously.</p><p>A grin spread across his face. “And what if I gave you two a little push?”</p><p>"My Lady," came Hubert's voice, smooth despite his inebriated state. "If you would allow me to escort him out to the pond myself..."</p><p>"Hubert, that's enough. I will hear no more." She looked around at the assembled students, then leaned in and whispered something to Hubert. Byleth caught snippets of the conversation. <em>Do not </em>and <em>drown </em>particularly stood out to her and it was easy to piece together the rest.</p><p>Hubert sighed and whispered something back to Edelgard, his shoulders hunching over.</p><p>Lorenz' laugh suddenly echoed through the room, the noise bouncing off the walls and filling the empty space. It was just a bit too loud for her liking. </p><p>"You look relaxed." He said.</p><p>It took Byleth a moment to realize he wasn't talking to her. She turned and found him reclined on his side next to Ignatz, his head resting in his hand as he propped it up off the floor with his elbow. Next to him, Ignatz was on his back and staring up at the ceiling. Any sign of sickness from before was gone. He had a bemused smile on his face, one hand reaching towards the ceiling.</p><p>"There are all kinds of different images forming in my head," he said. He let out a laugh. "It's like an ever-moving canvas of color and shape." There was a pause before he continued. "I feel like I could touch the goddess from here."</p><p>"Oh, so you want to touch her, huh?" Dorothea said.</p><p>Despite his inebriation and his slackened expression, Ignatz' face went bright red. Lorenz burst into a fit of laughter.</p><p>"Dorothea, you will stop pestering your classmates." It was Edelgard's voice.</p><p>Dorothea's lips twisted into a playful smirk. "Well, if you insist, Edie…"</p><p>"I do insist."</p><p>"Oh? And is there anything else you'd like to insist from me, <em>Your Highness</em>?" Dorothea winked at her and Edelgard gaped, momentarily robbed of a proper response.</p><p>It was at that moment that something else grabbed Byleth's attention. She turned her focus away from Dorothea and Edelgard's bickering and found herself drawn into another unfolding drama.</p><p>Ashe was sitting cross-legged in front of Dedue, both boys holding their hands up in front of them.</p><p>"I have...big hands," Dedue observed, his palms nearly touching Ashe's as he stared at them, his mouth slightly agape. It was as if he were laying his eyes upon them for the very first time.</p><p>Ashe broke into laughter. "Yeah, they're big." He paused. "I guess my hands are kind of...um... small." He turned them over, examining them for a little bit before bringing one up to his face and petting his cheek. "Wow, they're really soft."</p><p>Dedue looked up and met his gaze.</p><p>Ashe chuckled. "You should feel them, Dedue."  He reached up and touched the palm of his hand to Dedue's cheek. </p><p>For a few moments, the two boys just looked at each other. Then Ashe drew his hand away, his ears going red. "Sorry. I guess I'm not thinking straight."</p><p>Dorothea scooted up behind Ashe and slapped him on the back. Ashe let out a soft yelp and turned to face her.</p><p>Dorothea winked. "Yeah, you're definitely not thinking straight."</p><p>"Oh, hey Dorothea," Ashe said, tugging gently at his left ear.</p><p>Dorothea threw an arm around him, unable to stop her giggling as she leaned in towards him. “You’re very high.”</p><p>“Well...yes but…” Ashe said, leaning back from her just a little, his face burning red. “We’re all kind of high.”</p><p>She patted his cheek. “Yes. Yes you are."</p><p>Byleth decided it was time to come to his rescue. “Dorothea, boundaries,” she scolded.</p><p>“Sorry, Professor.” She let go of Ashe and took a seat on the floor next to Dedue, showing Byleth her hands. “No more touching. I promise.”</p><p>Byleth didn’t believe her but she didn’t say anything else. She had far too much on her hands as is.</p><p>“You have a hat,” Dedue said, staring at the cap perched on Dorothea’s head.</p><p>“I do!” Dorothea said. She suddenly clapped her hands together. “Oh! Oh! I bet it would look good on you, Dedue!” She took the cap off her own head and placed it on his. It took a few moments for her to adjust it. But when she finally pulled her hands away, she was grinning. </p><p>“What do you think, Ashe?”</p><p>“Ah! That does look good!” Ashe said, pressing his hands to his face as he gazed in awe at his friend.</p><p>Byleth had to admit, it didn’t look <em>bad </em>on him. </p><p>Annette gasped as she laid her eyes on Dedue. “Oh, wow! That’s really cute on you!”</p><p>This caused everyone else to turn towards him. </p><p>Lorenz rubbed his chin.“It does make a certain statement.” </p><p>Caspar’s eyes went wide. “Hey! I want a cool hat!” </p><p>Dedue seemed to shrink under everyone’s gaze. “I’m not used to... this much attention…” he confessed. It was one of the most cognizant things he’d said all night. Though, admittedly, he hadn't said much at all.</p><p>“You keep it for now,” Dorothea said, reaching out and patting his cheek.</p><p>Annette came over and took a seat between Dorothea and Dedue. She looked positively tiny next to him.</p><p>"You look so spaced out," she said.</p><p>Dedue brought his palm up to his forehead and rubbed it. "Sorry. I'm feeling rather fuzzy." He sighed and closed his eyes. </p><p>"Me too," Annette said, giving him a grin. "Mercedes was right. These cookies do make you relax."</p><p>"I know, right?" It was Ashe. He'd rolled back onto the floor on Dedue's other side.</p><p>Dedue looked down at him again. "Right what???"</p><p>"I don't know," Annette said. "Who really knows what's right or wrong." She sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if there is a point to all this. All this stuff we do while we're on this earth."</p><p>"Wait, what?" Ashe said, pulling himself up off the floor.</p><p>Linhardt stared. "That was...uh...weirdly nihilistic." He pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bottom of his chin, considering her words.</p><p>"Yeah, that was... weird," Ashe said, scrunching up his face.</p><p>Annette blinked. "What did I say?"</p><p>"You know...I'm not entirely sure, "Lindhardt admitted. He let out a yawn. "I'm getting pretty sleepy."</p><p>"Yeah, me too," Annette said. She turned onto her side. "I feel like I could take a nap."</p><p>"A nap sounds heavenly." Linhardt closed his eyes and leaned back. Unfortunately, Edelgard was sitting right behind him.</p><p>"Linhardt!" Edelgard barked, her eyes bulging as he pressed his weight against her. She scooted several feet away and rolled onto her back, kicking him with her heels.</p><p>Linhardt yelped and scooted out of her reach, groaning and rubbing his back when there was a safe distance between them. "That really hurt."</p><p>"Good,” Edelgard said. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. "What happened to your hair?" </p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"The back of your head."</p><p>Linhardt grabbed at his hair until he found the braid in the back. “That’s different.”</p><p>"Woah," Caspar said, his eyes going wide. "That looks pretty good on you, Linhardt. A true warrior's braid." He brought a fist up. "I should braid my hair like that."</p><p>"Good luck with that," Dorothea said, reaching out and flicking Caspar's ear.</p><p>Next to her, Hubert groaned. “I can’t keep my thoughts straight,” he said, rubbing at his temple.</p><p>Dorothea chuckled. “Aw, poor Hubie. Need a hug?”</p><p>Hubert scowled at her, looking like a gargoyle who’d just been awoken from all too short a slumber. Dorothea returned his gaze, looking like she was seriously considering giving him a hug. Then she scooted away from him just a little. "Suit yourself."</p><p>"Oh! I want a hug!" Annette said.</p><p>“Aw, okay!” Dorthea said, holding out her arms out for her. Annette launched herself at Dorothea and pulled her into a hug.</p><p>"You're really warm,” Annette said, letting out a giggle.</p><p>Dorothea stroked her hair, looking up at Hubert and giving him a huge smile. </p><p>"Ugh, shut up," Hubert said, pressing a hand to his forehead.</p><p>Dorothea raised an eyebrow. "I didn't say anything."</p><p>"But you were thinking it." He groaned and curled in on himself, rocking just a little. "If I had a cup of coffee..." he muttered to himself, leaving whatever he was saying unfinished.</p><p>Edelgard frowned and scooted up to him, removing his hand from his forehead and pressing her own to it.</p><p>"You're hot," she commented.</p><p>Hubert flushed slightly and looked down. "This is not a time for such discourse," he grumbled.</p><p>"What are you talking about, Hubert?" She squinted at him.</p><p>Dorothea laughed. "He's high, Edelgard. He probably doesn't even know what he's talking about."</p><p>Just then, the door opened and Manuela came into the room, Leonie following shortly behind. "We finally made it," Leonie said, then stopped, looking at the crowd assembled before her.</p><p>"My my. There are quite a lot of students here," Manuela said.</p><p>Leonie scrunched up her face. "Professor, are you going to tell me what’s going on?" </p><p>"Someone passed out a tin of weed cookies," Byleth answered bluntly.</p><p>Manuela burst into laughter. "If that’s the case, there isn't much I can do besides wait it out." She grabbed a chair from the corner and took a seat, pulling a flask out from under her coat and taking a quick swig. </p><p>Dorothea pulled up a chair beside her. "Can I?" She asked, pointing at the flask.</p><p>Manuela looked like she was considering the answer for a moment before she shrugged and handed the flask to her. Byleth sighed and rubbed her temple, realizing that Manuela was likely to be less than helpful in this situation.</p><p>Leonie went and sat down next to Ignatz and Lorenz. Her gaze fell on the latter. "Are you high too?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at her noble friend.</p><p>Lorenz chuckled. "Funny you would ask that, Leonie.” He leaned in towards her and she leaned back.</p><p>"I guess that means you're both like this."</p><p>Ignatz’ face seemed to light up as he saw Leonie sitting there next to them. "You're a friend. You are friend shaped.”</p><p>Leonie brought her hands to her lips, a laugh bubbling from her chest. "It's good to see you're doing better, Ignatz."</p><p>"Can I...I...draw you?"</p><p>“Right now???” Leonie said, eyeing her friend.</p><p>Ignatz was quiet for a moment. “Right now what?”</p><p>Lorenz burst into laughter and Ignatz joined in. Leonie rolled her eyes and Byleth couldn’t help but feel for her.</p><p>“Professor,” said a voice behind her. She turned to the voice and saw Manuela in the corner, holding the flask to Byleth in her outstretched hand. For once in her life, Byleth threw caution to the wind and crossed the room, accepting the flask and taking a swig.</p><p>“They can be a handful,” Manuela said when Byleth handed it back to her.</p><p>"But some handfuls are good," Dorothea said. She wiggled her eyebrows at Byleth. "Right, Professor?"</p><p>Manuela paused as if she were considering this for a moment. "I don't really know what that means." She glanced to Byleth, then to the chairs around them. "Take a seat. You look like you could use some rest.”</p><p>Byleth considered her offer for a moment, then chose a chair that was several feet away. She took a seat and unexpectedly found herself relaxing.</p><p>"So, how exactly did they end up with edibles again?"</p><p>Byleth recounted everything that happened to Manuela and Dorothea. When she was finished, the older woman clicked her tongue. "I should have known he was the one sneaking it in."</p><p>"Claude?" Byleth said.</p><p>Manuela laughed. "This is hardly the first time I've dealt with marijuana. Though it's definitely the first time I've seen it getting baked into cookies." Her eyes wandered back to the students. "Are they all high?"</p><p>"Pretty sure Edelgard is sober," Byleth said, looking out at her. She was currently staring down Caspar, her hands on her hips.</p><p>Dorothea chuckled. "She's the one that needs it the most too."</p><p>Manuela snorted. "Honestly, if anyone needs to relax, it's that Bernie girl."</p><p>"You didn't see her on the way here, did you?" Byleth asked.</p><p>Manuela shook her head. "Probably in her room. I barely see her leaving."</p><p>Dorothea giggled. "She's pretty cute." </p><p>“Really? Her?” Manuela said, raising her eyebrows at Dorothea.</p><p>“You don’t see it?”</p><p>“I definitely do not,” Manuela said. She leaned in. “Though, if you want to know my opinions on some of the staff...”</p><p>At this point, Byleth tuned out. Manuela and Dorothea continued talking and her focus wandered back to the students. Being apart from them allowed her a little room to breath and for a while, she simply observed. She must have started spacing out for she didn't notice Annette until she was nearly standing in front of her.</p><p>"Professor," Annette said, unable to contain her own giggling.</p><p>"Yes?" Byleth asked, hoping whatever Annette was about to say wouldn't be a problem.</p><p>"Which of the students here do you think is the cutest?"</p><p>Byleth felt her mouth go dry. She was suddenly acutely aware that most of the other students in the room were now looking at her.</p><p>"Oooo!" Dorothea said, bringing a hand to her mouth.</p><p>"You're all adorable in your own ways," Byleth said, hoping to the goddess that that was enough to satiate their curiosity.</p><p>"Come on," Dorothea said. "There must be someone you like more than the rest."</p><p>Byleth looked to Manuela for help but all she did was give her a lopsided grin and take another drink from her flask.</p><p>"Let me guess," Annette said when it became clear Byleth wasn't going to answer the question, leaning in and lowering her voice. "Ashe?"</p><p>Byleth's mind instantly went back to the awkward bathroom intrusion from earlier. "No," she said, praying that neither of them noticed the way her voice wavered.</p><p>"Ooh, maybe it's Ignatz," Dorothea said.  </p><p>"You do spend a lot of extra time with him in class," Annette added, stifling a giggle.</p><p>In the back of her head, she heard Sothis’ voice. "<em>He does sometimes look at us funny, doesn't he?</em>"</p><p>Byleth knew she needed to put an end to this inquiry as quickly as possible. "I'm not answering this question."</p><p>"Oh, come on," Dorothea said. "There must be someone here you like." She wiggled her eyebrows. "You're not that much older than us after all."</p><p>Byleth rubbed her brow.</p><p>"Ooh, maybe Dedue is your type," Annette said.</p><p>"I'm not answering this question," Byleth repeated.</p><p>"Or maybe she's into women," Dorothea said. "Perhaps one of us? Or does Edelgard strike your fancy???"</p><p>"Okay, that's enough from the two of you," Manuela said, finally coming to her rescue. "This is an entirely inappropriate line of questioning for one of your professors."</p><p>Dorothea leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, clearly pouting.  Annette tried to do the same but there was no chair behind her. She lost her footing and fell to the ground, bursting into a fit of laughter where she lay.</p><p>"Students, huh?" Manuela said, offering Byleth another swig from the flask.</p><p>Byleth accepted it, taking a slightly longer drink than last time. </p><p>"You're welcome to come by the infirmary next time you need a moment to escape," Manuela said. "I have a bottle of wine stowed away." She gave Byleth a wink.</p><p>"Thank you," Byleth said. She closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment of peace. She could feel some of the tension flowing out of her body.</p><p>Then she heard Dorothea's voice.</p><p>"Oh, hey Hubert."</p><p>Byleth opened her eyes and found Hubert towering over her, giving her a menacing look. He cleared his throat.</p><p>"Can I help you?" Byleth asked.</p><p>"I...I need to leave," Hubert said. It was less a statement and more of a command. Yet, despite his attempt to be intimidating, Byleth could see that he was having a hard time standing straight.</p><p>"Why?" </p><p>Hubert fell silent, his eyes darting between her and Manuela's. "I...um...I…" he started. But Before he could finish his sentence, there was a call from Edelgard from across the room.</p><p>“Hubert, come quickly.”</p><p>Dorothea's eyes lit up her words. "Aren't all boys quick to do that?" </p><p>Manuela coughed, nearly spilling her flask as she tried to muffle her laughter. Hubert made a strangled noise, the color draining from his face. From across the room, Edelgard looked like Dorothea had just slapped her.</p><p>“Dorothea,” Manuela muttered, gently hitting her on the arm. “Language."</p><p>Edelgard crossed the room, stopping less than a foot away from her. "I will not have you talking about Hubert that way.”</p><p>"Oh? Am I wrong about him, Edelgard? Does he wait for <em>His Highness </em>to finish first?" </p><p>Hubert let out a choking noise and Edelgard clenched her fists, her body shaking. "How dare you!" </p><p>"That's enough, both of you," Byleth said, standing up and putting herself between them. Though Edelgard kept a straight face, there was a fire behind her eyes.</p><p>Suddenly, the door swung open and Claude and Mercedes entered the room, both carrying baskets. The distraction couldn’t have come at a better time.</p><p>"I'm back!" Claude announced loudly. "And I got something for everyone."</p><p>"Mercie, my bestest friend!" Annette said, launching herself at Mercedes and enveloping her in a hug. "I missed you."</p><p>Mercedes laughed softly. "Let me put this down, Annie, so I can give you a proper hug."</p><p>Claude and Mercedes brought the baskets to the middle of the room and opened them. Inside them was a myriad assortment of sweets and baked goods: cookies, pastries, croissants, pound cakes, breads, and more; both baskets were filled to the brim with confectioneries.</p><p>Claude gestured to the baskets."Everyone, help yourselves.”</p><p>As the students converged on the food, Byleth pulled Claude to the side. "Did you find any sign of Bernie?"</p><p>"Bernie???" Claude said, rubbing his head. Then apprehension dawned on him. "Oh, right. I was supposed to be looking for her, wasn't I?"</p><p>"Mercedes?" Byleth said, turning to her. Annette was clinging to her, her face pressed against Mercedes' shoulder.</p><p>"Oh, sorry, we couldn't find her, and then Claude told me he was hungry.”</p><p>"So nobody knows where she is," Byleth said.</p><p>Claude shrugged. "I guess not."</p><p>Byleth sighed and rubbed her head. "We don't even know if she's safe."</p><p>"Don't worry. We'll find her," Mercedes said, reaching out and touching the professor's arm. "I can go back and look some more."</p><p>"I can help too!" Annette said, pulling away from Mercedes.</p><p>"No, Annette. You need to stay here,” Byleth said, trying to shut the idea down as quickly as possible.</p><p>Claude chuckled. "You're going to give Teach a headache."</p><p>Byleth already had a headache but she didn't bother to correct him. "I don't want you leaving again," she told Claude. She turned to Mercedes. "You should go inform Seteth that she's missing."</p><p>"Seteth? Are you sure?" Mercedes studied her professor. "Should I tell him everything?"</p><p>"No," Byleth said, realizing instantly how bad an idea that was. The last thing she wanted was Seteth breathing down her neck as she tried to resolve this.</p><p>In the back of her head, she heard Sothis laugh.</p><p>Mercedes hummed. "I'm guessing Hanneman wouldn't be discreet either."</p><p>It was Manuela's turn to laugh. "Trust me, if you tell that fossil that a bunch of our students are high, he's going to rush up here to study their crests."</p><p>Annette giggled. "I wish I had a crest.”</p><p>“You do have a crest,” Linhardt said, butting into the conversation from across the room. “And you won't even show it to me.”</p><p>Dorothea fluttered her eyelashes at Lindhardt. “If I had a crest, I’d show it to you. If you know what I mean.” </p><p>Lindhardt let out an audible sigh. “I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>“And by crest,” Dorothea said, leaning in to whisper in Annette’s ear, “I mean dick.”  Both girls doubled over in laughter.</p><p>“I’m sorry specifically for Dorothea,” Claude said, turning to Byleth. “I’ve never seen her act quite like this.”</p><p>“I’m guessing you’re the one responsible for getting her cannabis?”</p><p>“Sharp as ever, Teach,” Claude said. “But can you really blame me? You can hardly find cannabis in Fodlan and what you can find is shit.” He closed his eyes. “Nothing beats an Almyrian Gold blunt and everyone here knows it.”</p><p>“I can blame you and I will,” Byleth said, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>Claude raked his fingers through his hair. “Fair enough.”</p><p>Silence fell momentarily between them. Manuela sighed and took another sip of her flask. Finally, Mercedes spoke.</p><p>"I'll go look some more." </p><p>Manuela offered her the flask and Mercedes laughed. "I'll pass." </p><p>"Suit yourself."</p><p>She gave Byleth a smile. "I'll be back as soon as possible."</p><p>Mercedes waved and turned on her heels, quickly disappeared into the hallway.</p><p>"So, Teach…" Claude said as soon as she was out the door, "Did anything interesting happen while I was gone?"</p><p>"We talked all about you," Dorothea said, her lips curving into a smirk.</p><p>"Oh?" Claude raised his eyebrows. "And what were people saying about me?"</p><p>"We were talking all about your late-night escapades."</p><p>Annette broke into another fit of laughter and Byleth rolled her eyes at Dorothea. "I promise you, nobody was talking about that."</p><p>Claude's eyes went wide. "Woah, was that an eye roll, Professor? I think that's the most expressive I've ever seen you be."</p><p>"Hey, Claude. I think Leonie wants something from you," Manuela suddenly said.</p><p>Claude turned around as Leonie approached them.</p><p>"Tell me the truth, Claude," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Was this your doing?"</p><p>Claude's eyes darted to Annette, then to the professor. "Um...well…" Claude rubbed the side of his head. </p><p>"I knew it."</p><p>"Hey, not entirely!" Claude said, holding his hands up defensively.</p><p>She grabbed him by the ear and pulled him towards her. "You made Ignatz sick."</p><p>Claude yelped as she tugged on his ear. "It was a misunderstanding! Trust me, I had no intention of something like this happening."</p><p>She let go, still glowering at him. "This is still super careless of you."</p><p>Claude rubbed his ear. "Okay, alright. I messed up." He sighed and lowered his head, looking a bit too much like a puppy who'd just received a scolding.</p><p>Leonie scoffed. “You’re going to make up for this.”</p><p>“Okay, okay. I will. I promise.”</p><p>“Professor,” Leonie said, nodding at Byleth before returning to sit next to Ignatz.</p><p>Dorothea flicked her wrist and made a sharp, hissing noise, imitating a whip.</p><p>“So, Professor,” Claude said, pointedly ignoring her, “Have you been digging up any dirt on your students?”</p><p>“I shouldn’t even dignify that question with an answer.”</p><p>Claude chuckled. “Now would be the perfect opportunity.”</p><p>"I'm sure whatever I could find out, you already know."</p><p>A strangely sinister smirk spread across his face. "Is there something you would like to know?</p><p>“If there’s anything Byleth should know,” Dorothea said. “It should be that you’ve been snooping around her bedroom.”</p><p>Claude opened his mouth then closed it again, his cheeks going bright red. “You don’t believe her, do you?”</p><p>Byleth raised an eyebrow. “Have you?”</p><p>Claude rubbed the back of his head. “Maybe…just once.” He huffed. “I didn’t take anything, I promise.”</p><p>Byleth groaned. She knew she should be more upset but she really wasn’t. It wasn’t like she was keeping any secrets in her room. Still...it was definitely an overstep of her boundaries.</p><p>“I promise, I won’t do it again,” Claude said. “In any case, I’m not the only one who's been snooping around in other people's rooms.” Claude gave her a knowing look and Byleth couldn’t hold down the blush that crept onto her cheeks. Again, she heard Sothis’ laughter in her head. She suddenly wished she could fight her.</p><p>Just then, a voice came from behind them.</p><p>“Lorenz, no!”</p><p>Claude turned around to find Lorenz stalking towards him.</p><p>"Fight me, Riegan," he said, putting up his fists. "Fight me for control of the Alliance!"</p><p>Claude burst into laughter and Lorenz' face went red.</p><p>"I'm serious. Or are you too much a coward to fight a Gloucester?" He took a step forward. “They don’t call me Hellman for nothing.”</p><p>"You're high, Lorenz."</p><p>"You're high!" Lorenz shot back.</p><p>Claude gave his friend a cheeky grin. "Maybe a little."</p><p>Lorenz threw a fist at his friend and Claude easily sidestepped. The motion sent Lorenz careening forward. </p><p>“You bastard,” Lorenz said, whipping around.</p><p>“That’s enough. Both of you!” Leonie practically tackled Lorenz, slipping her hands under his armpits and holding him in place.</p><p>"L-let go of me!" He struggled against her grip, seething with anger. Leonie pulled him to the floor, sitting him in her lap.</p><p>"I'm not going to let you make a fool of yourself." She held him firmly against her.</p><p>"C-claude is the...the fool," Lorenz stuttered, his eyes wide, his gaze whipping between Leonie and Claude. There was the slightest hint of red painted across his cheeks.</p><p>"Trust me. You'll thank me later." </p><p>Lorenz grumbled something under his breath but stayed in place.</p><p>"Lorenz is...he's…" Ignatz stuttered, gawking at his friends from his spot on the floor.</p><p>"I'm not letting go until he calms himself," Leonie said, looking back over her shoulder at Ignatz.</p><p>Lorenz crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. "S-someday I will be...will be...lord...lord of...Gloucester," he said, stumbling over his words.</p><p>"I will pray for your house when that day comes." </p><p>Claude chuckled. "I think I'll consider this a diplomatic crisis averted." He leaned down in front of Lorenz and waved his hand in front of his face. "Do you think he'll remember this?"</p><p>"I hope not," Leonie said with a sigh. Lorenz bared his teeth at Claude.</p><p>"Tell me, Lorenz…" Claude continued, "Can you count backward from one-hundred??"</p><p>"This is some...some trick of yours…" Lorenz said, his eyes narrowed at Claude.</p><p>Claude showed him his hands. "No trick. I promise."</p><p>Lorenz took a deep breath. "F-fine." He closed his eyes and for a moment and went silent. "What was I doing again?"</p><p>Claude patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You'll be fine."</p><p>Suddenly, the door to the library swung open and another familiar voice called out.</p><p>“Ah, so this is where everyone is,”</p><p>Byleth turned and found Dimitri standing there, holding Bernadetta in his arms. She had buried her head in his chest and was shaking. Mercedes trailed behind them.</p><p>“I don’t want to die,” Byleth could hear her saying.</p><p>“I heard that you were looking for Bernadetta,” Dimitri said, turning to their professor. “I found her hiding under a pew in the cathedral." He knitted his brows. "She's been saying stuff about her father. ” </p><p>He brought her over to Byleth. Bernadetta practically jumped from his grasp and threw herself onto her professor, her entire body shaking. </p><p>“He did this to Bernie,” Bernadetta said. “This is his poison!”</p><p>Byleth suddenly felt guilty that she hadn’t been out there combing the castle for Bernie. She wrapped her arms around the girl and rubbed her shoulders. "You're father didn't do this to you, Bernie. I promise."</p><p>“Ah, Dedue. There you are,” Dimitri said. He looked around the room. "What is this? A picnic in the library?”</p><p>Dorothea burst into laughter and Mercedes soon followed. Hubert groaned at the noise and buried his head deeper in his arms.</p><p>Dimitri looked perturbed. “I don’t get it. What’s so funny?”</p><p>"We...accidentally…" Dedue started saying, but Caspar interrupted him before he could finish.</p><p>"We're all high."</p><p>Dimitri looked around the room, his eyes widened with shock. "All of you?"</p><p>"Someone handed out weed cookies," Byleth said, hoping she didn't have to tell the entire story over again.</p><p>"Oh…" Dimitri said. He pressed a hand to the side of his face. "You too, Dedue?"</p><p>The large man nodded. "I apologize. I had no...no idea…"</p><p>Dimitri took a seat across from his vassal. "Bernadetta has been acting very strange," he admitted.</p><p>"Bernie is sorry," Bernie said, pressing against Byleth's shoulder.</p><p>"There's no need to be," Dimitri said. He turned his attention to Dedue and raised his eyebrows. "I've never seen you wearing a hat like that."</p><p>Dedue reached up and felt his head, his fingers curling around the cap.</p><p>“It looks good on you,” Dimitri continued, rubbing his chin.</p><p>“Thank you.” Dedue bowed his head.</p><p>"I...I think Bernie needs to go now," Bernie suddenly said. She let go of Byleth and stumbled across the room towards the door. She made it as far as Dedue before she tripped over his feet and toppled onto the floor.</p><p>"You fell," Dedue said, staring at her.</p><p>Dimitri was immediately at her side. "Are you okay???" His hand hovering over her back, unsure if he should touch her.</p><p>"Bernie is never okay!" She curled into a ball at Dedue's feet.</p><p>Dedue pulled in his legs and scooted up to her, his gaze falling on Dimitri. "Is she... hurt?”</p><p>“I don’t think so.” Dimitri put a hand on her shoulder. Bernie tensed up and he removed it.</p><p>“Bernie just wants to be in her room,” Bernie said. “Where it’s safe.”</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Annette said, crawling over and sitting by her side. “You’re safe here. I promise.”</p><p>“We'll protect you,” Ashe said, curling his hands into a fist. “That is a knight’s duty.”</p><p>Bernie uncurled from her ball a little, looking at the members of the Blue Lion house that surrounded her.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said in that timid voice of hers. Dedue placed a hand on her shoulder and this time Bernie didn’t shrink away.</p><p>"You're okay," Dedue said, stroking the top of her arm as if she were a small, fuzzy animal. His hand was pretty large against her. Bernie's face went from pale pink to bright red.</p><p>"B-Bernie is...um…" she started.</p><p>"Dedue, maybe give her some space.” It was Dimitri’s voice.</p><p>"Sorry," Dedue apologized, bowing his head as he withdrew his hand.</p><p>"I-it's okay," Bernie stuttered. "B-b-bernie is okay."</p><p>The sound of footsteps came from behind Byleth, followed by a familiar voice.</p><p>"Hey, Teach."</p><p>She looked up to find Claude standing there, a trademark grin on his face. Edelgard was hanging just a few feet back.</p><p>"Dimitri, over here," Claude said, beckoning to the other house leader.</p><p>Dimitri pulled himself to his feet. "What is it?"</p><p>Claude leaned in ever so slightly. "We should have a quick talk. Just the four of us." He pointed to a corner with four chairs already set up.</p><p>Byleth nodded, readily agreeing to the idea. The four of them split off from the rest of the students and moved the chairs behind the giant globe that stood near the back end of the library.</p><p>"So, we're all sober here, correct?" He said. Then he let out a laugh. "Relatively speaking, at least. I can't exactly make that promise myself."</p><p>"That would be correct," Dimitri said. He looked to Edelgard.</p><p>"I'm sober," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.</p><p>"And you, Teach?"</p><p>Byleth thought back to the alcohol Manuela had offered her. "For the most part."</p><p>"Good," Claude said. He leaned back slightly in his chair, relaxing against it. "So...what are we going to say happened here to Seteth and Rhea?"</p><p>Dimitri shrugged his shoulders. "I don't see the point in concealing the truth.”</p><p>"That was not the answer I was hoping to hear," Claude said, tilting his head forward.</p><p>Edelgard cut in. "Claude is right, you know. The archbishop will not be pleased to hear about this." She looked to Byleth. "We could get the professor in trouble."</p><p>"Yeah...the professor…" Claude said.</p><p>Dimitri wrinkled his brow. "I did not consider that possibility." He looked to Byleth. "Did you even do anything wrong?"</p><p>Byleth couldn't really think of anything wrong she had done besides not going to Seteth. Not that she was trying to hide it. Students would probably be spreading rumors of the incident tomorrow. If she didn't tell him, he would hear about it eventually.</p><p>"Can I swear you all to secrecy?" Claude said, looking far more serious than before.</p><p> "There's no way we'll be able to keep this incident a secret," Byleth said.</p><p>"Yes but...nobody needs to know that Mercedes, Annette, and I are behind this."</p><p>"I won't say a word," Edelgard promised.</p><p>Dimitri sighed and rubbed his head. "I suppose I can stay quiet. But you're not going to just let Claude get away with this, are you?" He turned to look at Byleth.</p><p>"I'll think of a proper way to discipline him."</p><p>"Alright," Dimitri said. "You have my word. I won't say a thing about what happened in this room tonight."</p><p>"That's what I like to hear," Claude said, patting him on the back.</p><p>"If you'll excuse me," Byleth said, standing up out of her seat, "I think I need a bit of space."</p><p>Claude followed her. "Thank you," he said as soon as they were out of earshot of the other two.</p><p>"I wasn't joking about disciplining you and Mercedes," Byleth said, and she couldn't hide the hint of a smile on her face. "How do you feel about cleaning the stables?"</p><p>Claude grinned. "I'd expect nothing less of you, Teach." He patted her on the shoulder and left, making his way back over to his classmates.</p><p>Byleth returned to the chair next to Manuela and Dorothea. Manuela offered her another sip from the flask but Byleth declined. The two of them continued to chat, their voices soft. Byleth could feel a slight buzz in her head. It must have been the alcohol. She felt somewhat guilty that she'd allowed herself to drink to this point. But there wasn't much she could do about it now.</p><p>Her eyelids began to feel heavy. She closed them and focused on her breathing for a moment, hoping nobody would notice. ‘<em> Just a few minutes, </em>’ she told herself. ‘ <em>A few minutes to escape this chaos. </em>’</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Byleth's eyes snapped open. She’d told herself it would be a few minutes but she instantly knew that more time than that had passed. The windows were dark, candles flickering dimly on the library floor. Night had fallen over the monastery.</p><p>Byleth took a moment to look around the room. Mercedes occupied the chair Manuela had been in before and Annette appeared to be asleep against her, her head resting on her shoulder. In fact, when Byleth swept her gaze across her students, she realized Annette wasn't the only one asleep. Linhardt had passed out on the floor, as had Bernie. She was curled up next to Dedue, her forehead nearly touching his leg. Dedue himself was laying on the floor with his legs outstretched, his eyes focused on the ceiling.</p><p>She let her gaze wander. Dorothea was sitting across from Caspar, grinning at him as she held her wrist out in front of her. Caspar attempted to slap the wrist but she pulled it away before he could succeed, laughing derisively at him. Not far from them, Ignatz was laying on his side, his face obscured by his hair. Leonie sat on one side of him, a hand pressed against her forehead. She looked like she was ready to fall asleep. On Ingatz' other side sat Lorenz. He was leaning over his friend, his focus on Leonie as he talked to her. </p><p>Edelgard wasn’t far from the two of them. She had her arms wrapped around a pillow, her head buried against it. Hubert was sitting to her right, his face scrunched up as he gazed at a book. Byleth couldn’t help but notice he was holding it upside down. Finally, her gaze fell on Dimitri. He was at the far end of the room, his attention wholly focused on his spear as he polished it.</p><p>She started doing a headcount to make sure that every student was there but abandoned the effort when she realized she had no idea how many students had been in the room in the first place. She felt like someone was missing but she couldn’t recall who.</p><p>A familiar voice suddenly cut through the silence.</p><p>"You’re awake, Teach."</p><p>It was Claude. Byleth looked down and found him sitting on the floor beside her, his back propped against the bookshelf.</p><p> She pursed her lips, drawing them into a thin line. "How long was I out?"</p><p>Claude didn't answer at first. He sort of looked at her as if he were scrutinizing her. Then, as Byleth considered asking him the question again, he spoke. "Mmm...maybe an hour? No, more like two hours."</p><p>Byleth groaned. “I wish you’d woken me up.”</p><p>“You looked like you could use the sleep,” Mercedes said.</p><p>“For real, Teach. You were out cold.” </p><p>Byleth couldn’t help but wonder how she was doing so badly at this. She’d grown up as a mercenary. Looking after a bunch of high teenagers shouldn’t be this much trouble for her. </p><p>Her eyes swept the room again and it finally occurred to her just who was missing.</p><p>“Where is Ashe?”</p><p>Claude shrugged. “I haven't been keeping track of who's coming and leaving.”.</p><p>“Shit,” Byleth muttered under her breath, hoping to god nothing had happened to him.</p><p>“He probably just went back to his own room,” Claude said, trying to reassure her.</p><p>“Probably,” Mercedes added. “Though it would be awful if he was dying in a ditch somewhere.” </p><p>Claude shot her a look, making a slicing motion across his throat.</p><p>“Please tell me that was a joke,” Byleth said, rubbing her eyes.</p><p><em>“Not a very funny joke,” </em>came Sothis’ voice from the back of her head. Byleth was inclined to agree. </p><p>“I’m going to go look for Ashe," she announced, stretching as she stood from the chair, her muscles feeling stiff. “Oh, but...” Her gaze fell firmly on Claude and Mercedes. “One thing before I go.”</p><p>“Yes, Teach?” Claude said, looking expectantly at her.</p><p>"Let's all agree to never bake weed cookies again."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you liked this fic, you're welcome to come say hi to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/Hubertsnips">Twitter</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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